Legal Stranger
Photography by Amanda Lucidon
Amy and Alex Khalaf traveled from their home in Virginia to nearby Washington, D.C., on March 20, 2010, to exchange wedding vows. The women had been together for four years when the District legalized same-sex marriage, and they were eager to tie the knot.
The couple looked forward to starting a family and immediately began planning to have a baby. They put away some money, researched information about sperm donations, selected a donor and checked to make sure the insurance company would cover Amy as a single mother given that Virginia does not legally recognize same-sex marriage. The women knew that getting pregnant would be difficult.
Although same-sex marriage is legal in six states and the District of Columbia, it is not federally recognized under the Defense of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as the legal union between one man and one woman. As a result, nearly 1 million same-sex couples are denied 1,138 federal rights, benefits and entitlements inherently granted to heterosexual couples upon marriage.
The Legal Stranger Project offers an intimate look at the struggles that same-sex couples face as they attempt to navigate the convoluted legal system for parental rights, immigration status, inheritance, health care and survivor benefits. The project reveals the real consequences of the Defense of Marriage Act, under which the federal government recognizes same-sex couples merely as "legal strangers."
The Legal Stranger Project includes videos, photographs, diary accounts and a feature-length documentary film. It is produced by award-winning multimedia journalist Amanda Lucidon and award-winning filmmaker Scott Anger.
Find out more about the The Legal Stranger Project:
On The Web: www.legalstranger.com On Facebook: www.facebook.com/legalstranger
On Twitter: www.twitter.com/legal_stranger
Donations for the production of The Legal Stranger Project: www.indiegogo.com/The-Legal-Stranger-Project
After several failed insemination attempts, the emotional roller coaster was finally over. Amy, 28, was pregnant.
Four months into the pregnancy, Amy and Alex felt like they could finally let their guards down. Little did they know that the most challenging part of having a baby was just about to begin. Their joy turned to despair when Alex, 31, looked into her legal rights as a parent and discovered that she could neither be listed on the birth certificate nor legally adopt the child. The baby that she had prayed and planned for would not be her's in the eyes of the law.
As the pregnancy progressed, Amy and Alex realized they had a long way to go to navigate the complicated legal system that didn't recognize them as married or Alex as a parent of the unborn child.
An Excerpt From Alex's Journal:
"I can't seem to get my head around the news I found out today. I have been with my LEGAL wife through our entire fertility experience. I chose the donor, I picked up the donor sperm, and I held my wife's hand through each and every [doctor] appointment we had. It was OUR decision to raise a family, to raise a beautiful child together, in a house full of love and respect.
Today, I discovered that since I am not the one carrying our child due to medical reasons, that I am basically considered NOTHING in the eyes of the Commonwealth of Virginia. I have lived in this state for my entire 32 years of life, and even more so, I've never left my zip code. … Today, I am beyond devastated that I live in this state. Why on earth would ANYONE go out of their way to stop loving couples and parents from giving a child a home and a safe environment to be raised within...
This should be a time of joy and absolute excitement, a baby growing and developing each and every day as I hold my wife's belly every night as we fall asleep. instead I am left feeling like an outcast, like a nothing, insignificant and abnormal. I feel distraught and honestly defeated...
Please tell me how I can teach my child that it is a safe and loving place to be when I can't even feel proud to hang my own child's birth certificate because it lists my wife as a single mother and I am nowhere to be found. How do I explain to my child as it grows up that in our state, I am not your mom; that there are people out there who go out of their way to make sure our family cannot be complete. It makes no sense to me, imagine a child. How will I feel safe bringing my child into this country knowing that it will feel a sense of loss because our family is not recognized in the state's eyes. I have no words to describe the void in the pit of my stomach and heart as I write this journal entry.
My parents are both immigrants and now citizens of the U.S. They never stop saying how America is the GREATEST country on Earth and how amazing it is to be here and all of the opportunity. I have felt that way for most of my life until this moment, where I feel like America and Virginia is making a grave mistake on this issue."
JANUARY 14, 2012 - UPDATE: Amanda Lucidon's trailer for Legal Stranger is complete.
Legal Stranger Trailer from Amanda Lucidon/LucidPix on Vimeo.
Amanda Lucidon is photojournalist based in Washington, D.C., specializing in editorial, documentary and multimedia storytelling. Amanda’s photography and multimedia presentations have been recognized by the National Press Photographers Association Best of Photography contest, The White House News Photographers Association, Pictures of the Year International, the Associated Press, Press Photographers of the Greater Los Angeles Area and the California Press Photographers Association. [Full Bio Here]|
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[...] Photojournalist Amanda Lucidon’s work-in progress on how LGBT couples in the United States are dealing with the problems that the Defense of Marriage Act incurs on them is now featured on American-Journal.org. The Legal Stranger Project offers an intimate look at the struggles that same-sex couples face as they attempt to navigate the convoluted legal system for parental rights, immigration status, inheritance, health care and survivor benefits. The project reveals the real consequences of the Defense of Marriage Act, under which the federal government recognizes same-sex couples merely as “legal strangers.” American-Journal spotlights just one of these stories. See Lucidon’s story at http://www.american-journal.org. [...]